Currently Reading Dreams of Terror and Death : The Dream Cycle of H. P. Lovecraft By H. P. Lovecraft see related

Mood	|	thirsty	]
[	Current Voice in my head	|	mtv in the other room K'Maro - Femme Like You	]

Okay, a quick entry before the Lulu monster gets here. I've been going crazy lately, my computer died so I have now NO music in my apartment which sucks much arse. But at least I read The Phantom of the Opera I have a question for anyone who has read it, feel free to answer it I'd love to get feedback. In the chapters of the Persian Narrative, the Persian talks of a cloaked figure the goes about the lower level of the opera and that he (the Persian) was twice arrested by this figure. The author says that he was supposed to keep it a secret of who this figure was and will. So it kind of leaves everybody hanging. Anyone has any ideas? I don't want to say mine yet as not to change the views of others I would like to know what you guys think :) Let me know. Please ^_^

Currently Reading Dreams of Terror and Death : The Dream Cycle of H. P. Lovecraft By H. P. Lovecraft see related

Mood

|

depressed

Me Love You Long Time by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	Inseperable
Your meeting was by	Destiny
They are your	Protector
You are their	Soulmate
Your love will	Never end
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Heh, this one is even better ;p

SO no idea where to start. I guess I have a vacation now, FINALLY. Until the 22nd. I passed all my exams so now I can just sit and not care about anything. Well almost. I'm hoping for having a free monday or friday like I had this semester because we had two exams so two subjects went bye-bye but two are added on. So we have the same amount we had before. I really want a day off not in the middle of the week because that sucks much arse. Living alone blows.
Then now my computer died. I have no idea what happened to it. I hope I can fix it. It was only three years old. Poor komputa. Me sad now. I sent my dad an E-mail for him to call me. I hope he does. Argh. I hate this.
I saw a Marilyn Manson music video yesterday late at night and it scared me. That man pretty soon will take his ,,golden shot" of morphine and die. I have a feeling. In this video he was naked most of the time. He was sniffing, fucking (because what he did cannot be called casual sex if you know what I mean), jerking off, cutting himself. It was extremely creepy and his videos don't usually do that to me, even if he's naked or something. I had a creepy chill come over me when I was watching it. It was called ,,Saint" if I remember correctly but I'm pretty sure I do remember it correctly. *brr*
Lately I've been having an extreme feeling that I am and always was neglected by my parents. I mean my dad calls once in a blue moon, but still more often than my mother who called me last half a year ago. When I text message them I rarely get a response. I mean I know they work and all but five minutes is all I ask for. Once a week. That's all. I know they care but. . .I don't FEEL that they love me even though I'm pretty sure they do. I mean neglect by that they never cared much. I had to find a junior high by myself, a high school by myself, a college by myself. . . they didn't even LOOK at brochures from colleges all the formalities, all I had to do. All doctors appointments to have the proper medical records, all the financial forms. Everything. Not even a helping word from them. All I wanted was a ,,you'll be fine" or ,,we believe in you" or a simple ,,good job" . . . I won't mention ,,I love you". I know it seems sad and babyish but until my father started crying at the airport when I was going away to Poland for college and haven't seen them since, I had slight doubts that they cared much. I miss them so much. It's so hard for me sometimes. I don't have the internet where I live in Wroclaw, I have a few (4 to be exact) friends as you may call them there but I can't be with them all the time. All I have to care for is my Luke and he has work, school and so do I so we can't be together that much either. It's so depressing. I had to grow up way too fast. I'm only 19, half way through second year and the youngest person on second year of our studies is 21. This is why I want so much for Luke to come over and live with me, which he wants too. I want to lie down in bed and even if I'm alone because he's working a night shift I know he'll be back in the morning. I'll even get up to make him something to eat, coffee, tea or just to keep him company before he goes to sleep. I remember when we both thought out relationship was bound only by sex because seriously . . . rabbits. But now I'd never think that. We can talk, play-fight and everything, even the arguing. Arguing is good, sometimes you need that shot of adrenaline because if our relationship was all roses and candy I swear we'd be bored of it a long time ago. I'm going to stop for now. I don't want to write more because I just made myself cry like a baby. I'll be ok. I hope.

Currently Reading Paths of Darkness Collector's Edition (Forgotten Realms: Paths of Darkness) By R. A. Salvatore see related

  moody

Hmm, what to say? School has really been kicking my ass lately. I hate biochemistry. SERIOUSLY. Like I'm EVER going to use it -_- bah.
Spending the weekend with my baby. I missed that. Falling asleep next to the one I love so much. It's been such a long time. A long time since I felt safe. I know it sounds quite odd but living alone can make you quite paranoid. Oh and I'm such a dumbass too. I was rushing to get home . . . bladder was so not cooperating so I closed the top lock and then put the keys in the bottom one but I put the keys in all half assed so they were hanging on by a strand and then I forgot all about it and picture this: Me sitting studying some histology and BANG 16keys falling on a tiled floor. Uhm YEAH. Before I remembered that it was my fault that the keys fell I was pretty freaked out. I swear if I die of a heart attack because of something that is my fault (like said key accident) I want a Darwin award. Seriously O.o
Anyways, like I said, spending the weekend with my little biotch. Missing some friends from the states, specially my Sarah biotch. Been thinking a lot lately. Been having some problems. I need to get a job. I might hae one saturday nights with an hourly wage, which would be cool but we'll see about that. I also need to get a bed for my room because SERIOUSLY. That mattres is annoying the shit out of me, but I'm thinking about sticking it out because Luke is planning on moving in so he's also planning on taking some of his furniture with him. Well I'm ranting now, no one reads this shit anyways. I'm going back to bed. This weekend is my LAZY BITCH weekend. Not planning on moving my ass out of the house until tomorrow afternoon/evening. so there. XP

Currently Reading Paths of Darkness Collector's Edition (Forgotten Realms: Paths of Darkness) By R. A. Salvatore see related

mood: rejected

Your Beauty lies
in Mystery. Captivating, mysterious and alone. You
are the girl in the little
black number that no one seems to know, the eternal
mystery girl. You make it a
point to never let anyone know more about you than
you want them to and do a
very good job of it. You're there one minute and
gone the next leaving them in
wonder of who you really are. A mature and normally
calm individual, quiet and
enjoy spending many hours of the day on your own,
most likely preferring night
to day . You love the dark and some may find you a
bit strange. You seem to be
rather distant and cold making hard for people to
get close to you, though you
probably like the distance they usually keep. You
probably wear make-up, but
concentrate more around your eyes than anything.
You know the effect you have
and enjoy keeping people in wonder.

Some Things
That Represent You:

Element:
Dark, Water Animal: Panther Color:
Black, Maroon, Dark
Tones Song: In The Shadows by The Rasmus
Expression:
Sly Smile

Gemstone:
Black Diamond Mythological Creature: Demon,
Vampire Sign:
Scorpio Planet: Venus
Hair Color: Black Eye Color:
Garnet

Quote:
"In the shadows for all time."